training: mentally, physically and spiritually....

I've been trying to get back to myself lately. I often allow distractions to take me away from things that are important, preventing me from staying focused. In an attempt to bring things back into focus training wise, I've been reading a few books lately to help me stay motivated and hopefully (fingers crossed) improve some! :) In an attempt to keep writing tri related posts, I'm going to spread out my 'book reviews' in a few posts.....

Let me begin with saying that Sally Edwards totally rocks. I've been reading Triathlons for Women which is a really easy read and super informational! Plus, Edwards discusses things that pertain specifically to things women need for training and racing so you are always prepared. Who knew spraying your legs with Pam would help you get that wetsuit off faster??

One section that really resonated with me was Chapter 11 Matters of the Head and Heart. This section is wonderful on so many levels. This chapter deals with issues about women and competitive sports, how we define ourselves and how we might be playing into the definitions of other people. How women choose relationship partners based on that person's activity level and how training can bring a couple closer together or push them apart. How things change when you decide to have children. How buying from companies that support women athletes and events help to encourage change.

I've thought about how triathlon has changed and will continue to change my life. I know that now as a single person I have more freedom to train and compete the way I want. But I also know that will change someday due to relationship and career commitments. I don't think that means something negative. I think that you are constantly evolving and changing and it is a sign of growth. Plus, I'm pretty sure that working hard now as an endurance athlete will help me make it through all the changes to come! If at any point I feel stagnant or complacent in my life, I will need to have a serious conversation with myself. I'm not at all implying that it is easy but like any other triathlete, I welcome such challenges. ;) After all isn't that what triathlon is all about?!

She also talks about how the majority of her 'possible' competitors are actually on the sidelines as the support crew for their husbands. Carrying the gear, food, and taking care of the kids. Offering the hugs and congrats and the end of the race and snapping the pictures. Being a woman who works in a male dominated field I understand the point she is trying to make. I remember working at a civil engineering firm and always being the one to work late on Fridays or over the weekends. Being asked to change personal plans because others had to get home to their wives and children. Dealing with grumpy coworkers whose wives called them constantly throughout the day because they were stay at home moms and needed some adult conversation or diversion from baby talk. Being passed up for raises/promotions because so and so had a family to support. Having comments made about the way I dressed when my office mate wore the same brown jacket and pants for three days in a row and no one noticed.

I was raised by a mother who is the youngest of four, three older brothers. She pushed me more than most. Making me independent (sometimes to a fault) and self sustaining. Every time I fell, it was ingrained in me to stand up dust myself off and try again. No reason to cry, just keep moving and keep trying. Every time someone didn't think I could so something, it was my goal to prove them wrong. My carefree attitude and constant smile often leads people to not take me as seriously as I'd like, especially men. I don't necessarily think that being only 5 foot helps my cause any, but I can't do anything to change it. But that doesn't define who I am or how I feel about myself. Pursuing things that I'm a passionate about is what defines me. The contributions I make to world the around me define me. My thoughts and feelings, my goals and dreams, those define me. Not just the fact that I'm a woman. That is just another part of who I am, a descriptor, like that I have dark hair and hazel eyes. Labels though don't define me. Who said you can't be assertive and strong and still be feminine and sexy? Cuz whoever said that is certainly confused.

I've struggled with the masculine/feminine balance for a long time. I don't feel like some victim because I'm not a man. I do think that I'm often judged differently then men. But complaining about isn't going to change it any. Action is what makes changes. And the fact that myself and so many other awesome women are involved in this sport helps to make change. If we believe in ourselves and quit worrying about labels, so will everyone else. Triathlon provides challenge for me daily. Challenging training days, mentally, physically and spiritually. That's why I do it. And as those of you who know me are aware, I don't really care what anyone thinks of me or my efforts. All my efforts make me proud of my journey. So what if mostly everyone out on the course looks bigger and stronger? Going after my goals, being thoughtful in the pursuit, that is what defines me.

Besides who says triathletes can't have pretty painted red toenails and still kick ass!? ;)