what's in a name?

So since I got my bike, waaaaay back in January, I've been thinking of an appropriate name for it. Alot of my fellow Triathletes have chosen names that encourage them to accomplish great things, remind them of a person they admired or embody his/her racing style or personality. I have been thinking alot about what my bike means to me and all that stuff existential stuff and then this morning it hit me.

dah da dah!!!! [those are trumpets sounding in my head, oh you can hear them too? good! :) ]

Behold
.
.
.
.
.
Redd Foxx!!!!!

It's ok you can be mildly disappointed. I don't mind. :) I had hopes of some wonderfully inspiring name but this morning I was thinking about how I'm super dramatic when it comes to riding and Redd Foxx instantly came to mind.

I still feel like I don't have a clue what I'm doing and while I enjoy every minute of it, I still waiver between feeling accomplished and triumphant to completely insecure and totally freaked out. Every time I embark on a ride, whether it is from the side door to the end of the driveway or around the block or 20 miles, I always say something along the lines of, "Well, this will be fun, unless I die!" Or "See you later, unless I'm dead!" In fact I just left a voicemail message the other day that went something along the lines of: "I was wondering if you wanted to join me on a ride, that way someone will be there in case I die."

It of course is mostly in jest that I say it. There is only a small part of me who is convinced that I will get hit by some huge SUV and die.

Yes, I can be over dramatic at times, but this really isn't about dying. It is really about the fact that I'm still uncomfortable being clipped to a super fast, super light bike with nothing to insulate me from things that might run into me or me into it. I have fallen several times. Not lately but, when I first tried the pedals and the clips, it was one continuous falling frenzy. I didn't have a plan on how to get on the bike and clip in and start going. I was trying to do what 'felt' right but I couldn't find it, so as soon as I would get back up I'd start to move and then fall. Up, moving, down. This repeated about 8 times and I finally gave up, covered in mud from my multiple falls INTO the bushes, I trudged up the stairs, defeated.

Since then, I have been able to finally develop a strategy with help from my SUPER patient friend Beth. And I haven't fallen again and I can finally ride and I finally feel like I kinda know what I'm doing. I still sometimes feel like an impostor on a fancy bike but hey.

Those of you that know me well, are aware of the fact that I have a very healthy self esteem. Part of my thinking that I'm wonderful ;) (which is very tongue-in-cheek) is also a reminder of all that I have to learn and how far I have to go. If I can't laugh at my insecurities and remain light hearted, how will I succeed in conquering my fears? Taking life too seriously really bums me out! Laughing makes everything manageable. :)

I figured this morning that since Redd Foxx, as Fred Sanford, was always letting Elizabeth know that "This is the big one!" How could I find a better person to name my bike after!? And obviously since it is red I opted for Redd Foxx instead of Sanford.

Now my bike is just as over dramatic as me! ;)